Tag Archives: Leadership Advice

What Every Business Can Learn from the Social Media Efforts of @Delta

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It was about 6:30 last evening when I found myself at the Delta Sky Club in Tampa, Florida. I was booked on Delta’s 7:45 flight to Atlanta (where I am speaking to a group of Ford dealership managers about Internet processes this morning). I had a yearning for a cup of coffee, but I really didn’t think indulging in a caffeinated beverage that late in the day made sense. (Between my upcoming flight and the strange bed I was soon to be sleeping in, it would be hard enough for me to get any rest. As it ended up, I got a solid six hours.)

I grabbed a clean cup at the self-serve coffee station and placed it under the decaf jug’s spout. Pushing down on the lever I discovered they were out of decaf, so I moseyed to the bar to let the Delta bartender know this fact.

“Oh… thank you,” she replied.

I got a glass of water to hold me while she made the decaf and headed back to my seat in the lounge.

Twenty Minutes is Plenty of Time to Make a Pot, Right?

At about ten minutes before seven, I headed back to the coffee station only to discover that the decaf jug was missing. Clearly, the bartender just forgot to return it after she made a fresh pot, I surmised, so I walked over to the bar to ask her if the decaf was ready.

“Oh… it’s too late to make any decaf,” she replied.

I looked at her and just blinked my eyes for a couple of seconds to get my bearings.

“Um, isn’t nighttime when people usually drink decaf?” I asked.

“Well, I was told it’s too late to make any more decaf tonight,” she replied smiling.

Would You Like a Double Gin & Tonic instead?

I figured that a pot of decaf must cost Delta all of two dollars, so I wondered why they were being so cheap. Had I been ordering double Gin & Tonics all night they wouldn’t have batted an eye – even though my drain on their profits would have been much greater.

Since I really wanted that coffee – to the point that I could actually taste it on my way back to my seat – I decided there was nothing I could do but sit down, shut up and be a good Delta customer. In other words, I was fuming. Not because I didn’t get my precious coffee, but because of the arbitrary nature of how the Delta team at the Tampa Sky Club chose to create rules. They didn’t want to have to clean the pots after a certain hour (I surmised), so they invented a rule that you couldn’t make decaf after six.

They reminded me of a bunch of teenagers working at any fast food establishment fifteen minutes before closing: “Oh shit, here comes another customer. Don’t they know we close in like fifteen minutes?”

Vent or Die

I could keep my now rage about being denied a cup of decaf inside me or I could let it out. I chose to let it out. Of course, rather than throw chairs around the Sky Club or even demanding to speak to a supervisor, I decided to just Tweet about this experience to my 1,200+ alleged followers. (Because it was a Friday night, I was pretty sure that no more than 1 or 2 would even read the damn thing. I just needed to vent.)

I followed that message with one more Tweet a minute later to complete my thoughts about the whole affair:

Feeling somewhat content having gotten this off my chest; I sent a couple of emails, packed up my belongings and headed for the departure gate.

A few minutes after I settled into my seat and cracked open an unsatisfying bottle of water, a Delta agent came to my row and asked for me. Instinctively, I just knew I was going to hear some regurgitation of why they don’t make decaf after 6:00 PM and how sorry she was but that “the policy was important to ensure the blah, blah, blah…”

“Mr. Stauning?” she asked.

“Yes?” I replied.

She followed with “We were wrong not to make a fresh pot of decaf for you in the Sky Club this evening. Can you tell me who it was that told you this?”

I was floored. She admitted they were wrong and actually wanted to know which of their employees needed some additional training on customer service.

After I told her my experience and the brief conversations with the bartender, she thanked me for being a loyal Delta customer and handed me a $12 meal voucher for Atlanta. (Delta knows, you see, that I am flying out of Atlanta today after my meetings and so they correctly assumed that I might have to grab a bite in the airport.)

For the cost of a few minutes’ time and $12, Delta was able to completely resolve a minor situation with a long-time customer (and often vocal critic). Moreover, the half-dozen or so people who heard the exchange on the plane were undoubtedly impressed.

#TheLittleThingsThatMatter

As I hashtagged in both of my Tweets, it’s the little things that matter. Not making decaf for your frequent fliers is a little thing; but it genuinely pisses customers off. Telling your customers you were wrong and offering to buy them a $12 lunch the next day are little things; but these are what customers remember and appreciate.

The lessons that all businesses – whether they’re a B2C or B2B establishment – can learn from how @Delta handled this “little thing” are these:

  1. Be diligent and genuine about your social media pursuits. If you’re going to be on Twitter or Facebook, don’t do it for branding or marketing purposes; and don’t just become another spammer. Be social. React genuinely. Solve problems. Or shut the hell up.
  2. Be quick and don’t escalate the little things – SOLVE THEM. I don’t know who made the decision to greet me on my plane and present me with a meal voucher, but this decision did not have to be reviewed by a committee. Imagine if the team that monitors Delta’s Twitter account had simply waited until the next day and responded to my Tweet with “Dear Mr. Stauning: blah, blah, blah…” That would have been infuriating (I know, because another minor issue with a company last week was handled just that way. They would have been better off ignoring my Tweet than to send me down the customer service path of hell I am currently on.) Delta has empowered someone to make quick decisions in the field to solve minor customer issues. This seemingly tiny act can do more to defuse a bad situation than all the “we’re sorry you feel this way” emails and calls from insincere customer service drones.
  3. In all relationships, it’s truly the little things that matter. This is especially true in the realm of customer relationships. The customer is not always right… but, they are always the customer, and when it’s your fault that they feel bad you need to tell them it’s your fault, and then you need to fix the problem.

But The Steakhouse Did So Much More…

Some of you may be familiar with a similar, albeit more extravagant, response from an overpriced steakhouse to a loyal customer who also Tweeted his desires from the Tampa airport. The differences in this case are that Delta (in my opinion) wasn’t looking for publicity, just hoping to satisfy their customer. Additionally, Delta operates on a much smaller margin and deals with many more customer service issues than a chain of restaurants, so sending a guy in tuxedo to deliver me a porterhouse dinner would not have been fiscally responsible. Finally, the guy who Tweeted about steak was just a whiny traveler who wanted something he couldn’t have.

(Well, I guess the two stories do have a little in common.)

The 10 Douchiest Job Titles in America

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The 10 Douchiest Job Titles of 2012

For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to keep my business cards free of my title. I feel this way for a couple of reasons: primarily, I don’t want those outside of my company getting hung up on my title; also, I really don’t give a shit what you call me inside the company; so long as the work is challenging and fun – and that my role can somehow influence the company’s results.

Of course, I understand I’m in the minority here. There’s an episode of Cheers that humorously magnifies America’s love for important sounding job titles when Woody, Sam and Carla individually go into Rebecca’s office to demand a raise; only to come out overly satisfied with nothing more than artificial titles.

So, while I get why some people want a title and want to proudly display it on their business cards, I struggle to understand why anyone would want a title that basically screams to the world “Hey, look at me: I’m a major douchebag.”

Do you have a douchie title or do you know someone with a douchie title? If so, please share them here. For now, here is my list of The 10 Douchiest Job Titles of 2012:

10. Lifetime Value Business Leader – This title is douchie for so many reasons, not the least of which is that I have no fucking idea what it means. To me, this title sounds more like something that would be inscribed on a crappy award you get from the Fort Wayne, Indiana, Chamber of Commerce than something you would print on a business card. Chances are, if you’re a Lifetime Value Business Leader, you probably can’t lead and likely provide no value to your business (even in the short term).

9. Talent Acquisition Expert – I have two major problems with this total douche bag title: first, if your title shows that you are an “expert” anything it means you are exactly the opposite; and second, the title “Talent Acquisition Expert” springs from the same political correctness that brought us such classic douchebag titles as “Sanitation Engineer” and Subway’s oxymoronic “Sandwich Artist.”

8. Director of Customer Experience – Taking care of customers should be Job One for everyone at your company; but if your business actually names someone their Director of Customer Experience, your front line employees are likely just paying lip service to the actual customer experience. Of course, that’s not what makes this title so douchie. What makes this title really douchie is that the role can only be filled by complete and utter douchebags. Think about it: have you ever met a Director of Customer Experience who didn’t annoy the fuck out of everyone around them? Sickie sweet phoniness does not make for a great customer experience.

7. Chief Motivational Officer – Similarly to the Director of Customer Experience role, if your company needs anyone with any variation of the word “motivation” in their title, then you have a real motivation problem. In fact, your lack of genuinely motivated people will not be solved by giving some made-up title to someone who cannot execute; but he’s really fucking nice so you named him your Chief Motivational Officer. Fire this guy and use the money you save to buy the employees a pool table for the break room and pizza every Friday.

6. Entrepreneur – This title is certainly douchie on the surface: it screams “look at me; I’m a real risk-taking maverick.” Yet these risk-taking mavericks who call themselves entrepreneurs are using the more cultural (mostly incorrect) definition of the word as “someone who starts a business that promises economic gain, but also entails great risk.” In fact, the word actually describes any manager or owner of a business – regardless of actual risk or gain. Putting “entrepreneur” on your card is equivalent to putting the non-descript “manager” as your title; only way more douchie.

5. Company Evangelist – The only people who should be allowed to have “evangelist” on their business cards are those hell-bent on saving our souls and taking our money. (Just taking our money is not enough to make you an evangelist.) In all seriousness, if you don’t spend your Sundays on television speaking to a bunch of sheep and fleecing them of their life savings, then you need to leave this off your business card.

4. Guru – The word is Sanskrit, and if you did not know that, then you’re not a fucking Guru. Moreover, this type of douchebag title is one of the “self-anointed” kinds. This means that no one ever called you a Guru (unless their tongue was firmly planted in their cheek) – you gave yourself this title; and for that, you are a douchebag of the highest order. In fact, you might just be the Guru of douchieness.

3. Mentor – What in the world would prompt someone to put this drivel on their card as their title? It is the job of everyone in your company to mentor to those with less seniority, knowledge or experience than themselves. However, if any douchebag put “Mentor” as their job title on their business card, then they are just announcing to the world that they really value their experience and opinions a whole lot more than the rest of us. I can honestly say that I have not learned a thing from a single person who ever “tried” to be a mentor to me. The true mentors in my life never tried, it just came naturally to them – and they gladly mentored without fanfare or the need to be officially called a mentor.

2. Visionary – Putting this on your card literally screams that what you lack more than anything else is vision. Because… if you had any vision at all, you’d see what a douchebag you look like with this on your card. Let me break this to you gently: being right about a few things does NOT make you a fucking visionary; knowing more than your boss about technology or the Internet does NOT make you a fucking visionary. “Visionary” is a title people bestow upon you at death (think Steve Jobs), not something you call yourself when you’re still alive and annoying the rest of us.

1. Thought Leader – The King of all douchebags, the “Thought Leader,” is another self-anointed position. Those who use this title to describe themselves really see their place in your industry as Socrates meets Einstein. They believe – generally because they have a below-average IQ – that they are both philosopher and genius. While the rest of us see the obvious for what it is, the self-proclaimed “thought leaders” point out the ordinary as if they’ve cracked the genetic code. Deep inside I think many “thought leaders” are truly just “do nothings” who gave themselves the title of “thought leader” because they don’t want to do any real work; they just want to regurgitate what others have published.

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Generally speaking, I think the Internet magnifies the self-importance that the douchebags who proudly display any of my Top Ten douchie titles tends to feel and feed upon. Make no mistake, I get that many of you who read this think I’m a douchebag for my often ranting style of writing. The difference between me and the douchebags that might desire one of the above as their titles is that I know whatever I write will be douchie to someone.

Of course, if you happen to be one who thinks my writing is douchie, then I feel good that I could help you feel superior to someone; even if it is just some douchebag who rants when he writes…

Thank You Delta: An Open Thank You Letter to Delta Airlines from a Regular, Long-Time Delta Customer

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Thank you Delta Airlines for all that you do for today’s airline passenger. Whether our trips are for business or just for vacation, we owe you a hearty “thank you” for making us feel so special.
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Specifically:
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Thank you to the Delta ticket counter clerks who immediately act annoyed when they have to answer another dumb customer question. (Don’t these people read? Can’t they see this is not the line for dumb questions? Why don’t they just use the kiosk instead of bothering me?) It’s because of you that Grandma starts every trip with an upset stomach and explosive diarrhea.
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Thank you to the Delta gate agents who never seem to be able to be where they are actually needed. It’s because of you that all of the passengers have more time to get to know each other’s unique smells while we wait at the gate for you to move the jet bridge a whopping ten feet. (I think I’ve developed a bladder infection from sitting for long periods when I have to pee.)
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Thank you to the Delta Airlines logistics team who ensure that if your plane arrives ten minutes early, they’ll keep your gate blocked for another twenty minutes just to ensure they are able to maintain the proper balance in the universe. It’s because of you that we are all learning to count better. (Hmm, I count twenty empty Delta gates, why don’t they just park the plane in one of those?)
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Thank you to the Delta Airlines baggage handlers who ensure that no matter how long your layover at a Delta hub, you and your bag will not both make your connecting flight. It’s because of you that I have learned to love wearing the same underwear two days in a row. (The trick, you see, is to turn them inside out on the second day.)
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Thank you to the Delta Sky Club attendants, clerks and bartenders for shutting your club 10 minutes early. Because of this, I realize that Delta employees are more like Wendy’s employees than someone I should trust with my life.
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Thank you to the Delta Airlines pilots who are allegedly qualified to fly a jet plane, but cannot seem to properly operate a microphone or enunciate clearly enough for anyone on the plane to hear what they are saying. It is because of you that “uhhhh crackle, scratch, crackle, crackle, scratch, crackle, uhhhhh, scratch, crackle, scratch” makes me wonder whether we are crashing or just passing over the Grand Canyon.
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Thank you to the Delta Airlines flight attendants who, like a Macy’s cosmetics department sales clerk, have a unique and misplaced sense of superiority over everyone in coach. You are nothing more than glorified barmaids, and if you were really any good at it, you’d be slinging drinks at the Applebee’s in Omaha – and making more money. It’s because of you that our young people unfortunately look up to women who are too dumb to operate a circa-1995 video player that plays the onboard safety message.
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Thank you to the Delta Airlines baggage office clerks who make certain that the customer knows via your exaggerated hand gestures and head bob that “it’s not my fault that your bags are lost.” In fact, you do such a wonderful job of pointing fingers that I often leave your counter wondering what I could have done better to ensure my bags were on my flight before takeoff. (Shame on me for being such a passive flyer – I should have taken a more active role in moving my checked baggage from flight-to-flight.) It’s because of you that so many Americans are self-medicating.
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Thank you to the Delta Airlines procurement officers who work so very hard to get the absolute lowest bid on everything Delta offers today’s traveler. I want to give a very special thank you to the person on this team who buys the Made in China roll-on antiperspirant for the toiletries bags you distribute to those of us who were dumb enough to trust Delta with our bags. It’s because of you that I now know that “antiperspirant” actually means “hellfire rash-inducing highly carcinogenic lotion-like near-liquid substance” in Chinese.
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Thank you to the Delta Airlines marketing department. I assume it was your team who decided to allow the Google/GoGo/Delta Free WiFi program for the Holidays this year. Nothing sparks Holiday Cheer more than 159 people trying to login to a WiFi service that is barely capable of handling nine. What a great and productive experience you have given me (a paying GoGo customer), and what a terrific first impression you are making on those GoGo novices on the plane who also cannot access anything while in the air. It’s because of you that so many of us have cut back our travel plans for next year.
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And a special thank you to anyone who answers a phone at Delta Airlines. I know this is an incredibly short list, but you do a great job of both blaming me and calling me a liar simultaneously… sorry to have troubled you at 3:00 AM when I am unable to sleep because I am wondering where my bag that you made me pay $25 to check is… go back to playing solitaire. It’s because of you that Americans are now demanding companies outsource more of their call centers to Bangladesh.
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Finally, to the entire Delta family who seems to think that I am, as the regular customer, there only for them and not the other way around, I thank you for your patience with me – I am learning and will work to become a better customer. One who gladly forks over thousands of dollars every month to you while getting nothing but grief in return.

The New Learning Gap: Business Leaders Know Little About The Internet

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Today’s Leaders Are Tomorrow’s Followers

 

For some reason I’ve run into too many business leaders lately who know less and less about how their businesses are being marketed on the Internet. From owners and CEOs to vice presidents and general managers, leaders (even good ones) are getting further detached from the realities of what truly drives their bottom line.

 

With virtually all of their customers now virtual, you would think these leaders would hunger for knowledge about digital marketing – not so. In fact, some of them seem downright fearful, and any leader afraid to learn about what makes the Web tick is destined to be a slave to the very people he is tasked with leading.

 

Rather than recreate the wheel, there’s a great article on the subject and how it is affecting car dealers at the automotive industry blog DealerRefresh.

Abusing One’s Leadership Role is Never a Good Thing

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Leadership Lessons from Cash for Clunkers

 

Without diving too deeply into a mini controversy from last week, let me just enlighten you with some quick facts:

  • Edmunds.com estimated that the recent Cash for Clunkers program cost US taxpayers about $24,000 per incremental vehicle sold;
  • The chief economist of the National Automobile Dealers Association (NADA) responded that the cost of each incremental vehicle sold was actually $4,587;
  • For both analyses, an incremental vehicle sold is a sale that would not otherwise have occurred without the government’s CARS program.

 

Whenever I am faced with two strikingly different opinions about something, I like to follow the money. In other words: Whose opinion enriches their goals more?

 

A few more quick facts:

  • Edmunds, a privately-owned company that has been providing mostly accurate analysis of the automotive industry for more than 43 years, reported their findings days before the NADA reported theirs;
  • The White House blasted Edmunds.com, because Edmunds.com disagreed with the official government assessment of the program and painted the program as costly;
  • NADA, the main lobbying arm for new car dealers in the US, agreed with the official government assessment and even went so far as to call Edmunds’ analysis “fundamentally flawed.”

 

Hmmm, lobbyists who call on the White House and other government officials to curry favor for their car dealer clients agree with the White House and blast an independent company who disagrees with them?

 

Follow the Money

 

More than just politics as usual, it’s actually quite disappointing that the NADA would, in our opinion, sell its integrity for the sake of a program that even the NADA’s dealer-members will admit (privately) did little to move incremental units over the long term.

 

In fact, dealers we’ve surveyed point out that their website traffic – which they tell us is a great indicator of consumer interest in new cars – dropped more than 30% in September and October versus the same period in 2008. (For a point-of-reference: Clunker sales ended in August.) To these dealers, this means that the CARS program “pulled ahead” units from September and beyond into July and August.

 

The NADA’s assessment of the program assumes no sales were pulled ahead. Not one. Zero. None. Nada (pun intended).

 

In their chief economist’s view, the NADA claims that auto sales for July and August would have been around 1,600,000 units without Clunkers. Actual sales for those two months totaled 2,253,963 units, leaving a difference of 653,963 units. (So far we agree with the NADA.) Divide the CARS’ $3 billion cost to taxpayers by 653,963 and you get $4,587 per car. Simple, right?

 

Stop Peeing on Me and Telling Me it’s Raining

 

There cannot be anyone with even basic macroeconomic training who buys into this simpleton analysis. As any good economist would tell you, programs like Cash for Clunkers do not operate in a vacuum. There are economic truths at work that dictate you cannot inject a significant variable (in this case the taxpayers’ $3,500 – $4,500 per car) that significantly drives up current demand for a capital good and not have some impact on future demand for that good.

 

Are we to believe that not one of the six hundred fifty-three thousand, nine hundred sixty-three incremental units sold in July and August would ever have been sold if not for the CARS program? Well, that’s exactly what the NADA is saying with their transparently disappointing attempt at influencing the White House, the congress and taxpayers who might be asked to support another Clunkers program in 2010.

 

While the Edmunds.com analysis may have overestimated the number of vehicles pulled ahead into July and August, at least they didn’t try to tell us that EVERY incremental vehicle sold over those two months was pulled ahead from a future month.

 

Abusing One’s Leadership Role is Never a Good Thing

 

This is why integrity in leadership is critical. How can we believe anything the NADA reports after this? Their objectivity, in our opinion, is nonexistent. They seem as comical as the NRA arguing for bazookas in every home or PETA rallying against fat people. They’ve quickly gone from being a respectable business organization to becoming just another special interest group. They are now a caricature of their former self.

 

They’ve forgotten that unlike true special interest groups, the NADA held a true leadership role in the automotive community. They served the best short- and long-term interests of their dealer-members. Now, they’ve broken the trust of anyone with a brain, causing us to question the veracity of all future pronouncements.

 

The leadership lesson here is simple: When given a position of leadership – whether you’re the President of the United States or the chief economist for a lobbying organization – you have a duty to lead with integrity. Abusing the trust granted to you on the basis of your position assures that you will not be trusted in the future. Your subordinates, constituents or members are not dumb, and when they know you’ve stretched the truth to fit your agenda in the past, they will begin to question the motives of your future actions, and they will no longer take you at your word.

Stop Managing Activities and Start Seeing Results

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Keep Everyone Busy So You Can Kill Creativity

In the current economic climate (one that we’ve dubbed The Great Necession), it seems that companies are so concerned about productivity that they’re forgetting about innovation and creativity.

Whether we’re all trying to cover our asses as managers or whether we truly believe that micromanagement and piling on the busy work is the key to survival during The Great Necession, we have become obsessed with ensuring everyone still employed is constantly busy.

Understandably, many workers are doing their job and that of their laid off former coworkers; though even this doesn’t explain what we’ve observed over the past several months in workplaces across America. Too often to be a coincidence, we’ve watched in disbelief as more and more managers unnecessarily micromanage the activities of their charges in an effort to magically drive more output.

We’ve become so concerned with keeping everyone busy that we don’t leave time for our employees to be creative or creatively solve problems.

Manage the Results, Not the Activities

Often because they don’t fully understand the goals, junior managers fall into the trap of managing or micromanaging the activities of their subordinates. When desperate, even seasoned leaders will sometimes scramble to drive productivity through the micromanagement of daily activities.

The Great Necession has created more than a little desperation in the workplace.

The key to reaching your team’s goals as leaders is to clearly identify the goals and then monitor and manage the output of those contributing to the achieving of these goals. When you try to manage the inputs (the activities) instead of the outputs (the results), you most often find you’re driving fast, though in the wrong direction. Additionally, you cannot hold your subordinates accountable for the results that the overly-managed activities attain.

When you tell someone not only what to do, but also how to do it, you own the results – good or bad.

We Need Creative Problem Solving to Solve Our Current Problems

Left to their own accord, people will always find ways to do it cheaper, faster, better and safer. If you’re micromanaging their activities, you leave them no time to improve your products or processes; and thus, no time to help pull your company through the tough times.

As leaders, it rests on us to guide our companies through this economy. Your people are counting on you to do just that. It’s time to lead again: Resist the temptation and stop managing the activities and just manage the results. It’s easier. Of course, do this only if you want creative solutions to your company’s problems.

Young Managers Working in a Small Business: What Can They Do To Get Respect From Below and Above?

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For Young Managers, it’s not Just About Gaining the Respect of Subordinates

One of the most common questions from our readers concerns how they as younger managers can lead older subordinates – all while maintaining respect and sanity. Where we felt we could help, we’ve provided these youthful leaders advice and guidance as recently as last month when we responded to a question posed by a reader named Sourabh from Mumbai, IN. He was curious how he could convince a firm he was interviewing with to hire him despite his age. Prior to that, we’ve explored possibilities for other young leaders in responses dealing with young business owners, leading grizzled older subordinates, and also how a young manager can keep from being run over. Recently, a new reader found our site and posed her own questions after exploring our advice about how a first time manager can gain respect:

Hi, I stumbled across this site as I was searching for some help. … I am not only the manager but the youngest technician at my company. … I work in a small family owned salon where everyone is on top of each other all the time. Here are my concerns that I am hoping you will be able to help me with:

As I mentioned, I am the manager of the salon but unfortunately I don’t get any respect from some of the older employees as well as the employees that are around my age (25). It seems that no matter what I ask them to do or how I say it, as soon as my back is turned I am a “bitch” etc. My requests usually go ignored until the very few times I have yelled at my employees. Which trust me is not many. I have worked for people that were demeaning and constantly yelling and my goal when getting this position was to be assertive but fair and never intimidating. It is getting to the point where if things don’t change I might snap.

I know I am young but I put in more paid and unpaid hours into the salon than any other employee. I work really hard to make us the thriving spa we are becoming and it frustrates me when people cannot reciprocate. I spend the majority of my time (when I am not with my own clients) ordering the supplies that the techs need, coming up with marketing ideas to make their books more solid, building our website, etc. But all I get back is arguments over why they have to do this special for the price I gave them when they want to charge more, or complaints when things they need aren’t ordered (they usually don’t tell me what they need I have to figure it out myself).


I am becoming resentful because I feel like I am constantly doing for them with no respect being given back to me. With the employees that are my age I am just blatantly ignored or told I am being a bitch. But when everyone wants something i.e. to leave early or come in late the next day all the sudden they are calling me “Miss Manager…”

How do I get the respect I not only desire but deserve?

My boss is way too nice to everyone. It really is out of control. I love her and consider her a great friend but at the same time my role as manager has been blurred by her as well. Sometimes I feel like I am not the manager just her personal assistant. She doesn’t want me to reprimand employees when it needs to happen.

How do I establish with her what my role as manager is?

I have asked her this question before with no real answer. I don’t think it’s fair for me to be telling the staff what to do but unable to say anything when things are not getting done. It would be one thing if she dealt with the issues but she is way too nice for that. I get upset because the employees take advantage of her and I don’t like watching that happen without being able to do anything about it.

Please help!!! – MM, USA

Ms. MM, may we call you M? Our apologies on the length of time it took to effort a response, but your questions were so specific and your situation so intriguing that we wanted to ensure we got this one right. (Not that we don’t try to answer all questions correctly, it’s just that you so completely described your issues that we felt compelled to reciprocate just as completely.)

We’ll tackle your issues and questions one at a time, and in the order you presented them…

I work in a small family owned salon where everyone is on top of each other all the time.

It’s always easier to manage large than it is to manage small. We often laugh when we hear about the tremendous “leadership” provided by this Fortune 500 CEO or that one – when you’re armed with a seemingly unlimited budget, surrounded by Yale and Harvard MBAs and staffed with more Administrative Assistants than Congress, you’re going to have very little trouble executing – provided, of course, that you have a brain, a plan and your ego in check.

Contrast this to a young manager trying to get the most from a group of high school graduates and having to do all the heavy lifting herself. It’s clearly easier to manage large and we feel your pain, MM.

It seems that no matter what I ask them to do or how I say it, as soon as my back is turned I am a “bitch” etc. My requests usually go ignored until the very few times I have yelled at my employees.

On the surface, it seems to us that there is no consequence for either insubordination or inaction by the employees. People yell when they are out of options, and if there were consequences at your workplace, you would certainly never have to yell.

Our advice here is two-fold. First, never yell again. When you lose your cool with someone you are telling the world that you are not in control and that you can be controlled by others. In your case, you are ceding your power to your employees and they are likely getting a big laugh at your expense. Second, it’s time to sit down with the owner and create your version of an operations manual. This manual need not be fancy, but it must detail the policies and procedures for the company, and especially the consequences for poor behavior. (Of course, no business rules are worthwhile if they’re not enforced.)

I work really hard to make us the thriving spa we are becoming and it frustrates me when people cannot reciprocate. I spend the majority of my time (when I am not with my own clients) ordering the supplies that the techs need, coming up with marketing ideas to make their books more solid, building our website, etc. But all I get back is arguments…

This piece of advice is probably going to seem odd, but it might be time to empower this team to make many of their own decisions. Where possible, ask the techs to carry some of the weight. For example, if you like to order supplies on Fridays, then create and distribute a simple Supply Order Form to everyone on Wednesday, and ask them to tell you what they need by Thursday night. Those who fail to order the proper quantities and run out could be docked the express shipping charges or the retail price difference required to get their supplies in on time.

For the marketing decisions, encourage all complainers to provide you with what they would like to see next month. Do this in a non-confrontational, sincere manner in front of everyone, and be sure to give serious thought to their ideas. If you choose to implement one of their marketing schemes, be sure to let everyone know before, during and after the promotion that the idea came from so-and-so by thanking them regularly. They will likely take ownership and do everything in their power to make sure it is a success.

But when everyone wants something i.e. to leave early or come in late the next day all the sudden they are calling me “Miss Manager…”

There’s a Latin term that applies to this situation, M: Quid pro quo. Literally, this means “something for something,” and in business it means “scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Each time one of your charges is looking for a special favor, you have a golden opportunity to do some coaching.

If the employee is the loyal, hardworking sort, then you grant their favor (when possible) and you reinforce their good behavior by saying something like “I have no problem letting someone who accomplishes so much go home early now and then.”

When the person requesting the favor is someone who has made your life miserable, you should take time to explain some of your needs before deciding whether or not to grant their request. For example, you might say something like “I appreciate that you would like to arrive late tomorrow, though I think you’d agree that allowing special treatment to someone who rarely cleans up their own work station sends a bad signal to the rest of the team. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?”

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How do I get the respect I not only desire but deserve?

This, M, might be the real question. Certainly, we feel that if you’re able to incorporate the advice we’ve provided so far, you will begin to build respect with your team. Of course, respect is a lot like love: The more you give, the more you get.

Make a pact with yourself to begin each day by respecting your team. This means listening to their ideas (especially the hair-brained ones), and soliciting their opinions about the company’s direction on issues that are important to them (even if you don’t care). As you begin to respect them, they will (eventually) begin to respect you.

While this is a great first step, the behavior of your team could very well be only a symptom of the real problem. From what we can gather from your comments, the underlying problem you face likely has more to do with your relationship with the owner than it does your relationship with your team.

The Real Question is How to Gain the Owner’s Respect

Let’s get some facts about someone who owns their own company on the table: Right or wrong, the owner is the boss. The goal of every company is to make money for the owner. If the owner is crazy and wants you to waste money, for example, you have two choices: Get another job or waste the money. It’s not passive aggressive behavior to give the owner what they want – even if it’s not in their best interest. This is not to say that you shouldn’t attempt to do what’s right; though in the end the owner is the owner and you are just an employee. If the owner wants to allow people to take advantage of her, that is her prerogative (and not your concern). Like the customer, the owner is not always right, but they are always the owner.

M, your issues may appear like they start and end with your subordinates, but in fact, they seem to be caused by the company owner. In our opinion, you are suffering from a lack of respect for your leadership from your boss; and this lack of respect transfers onto your fellow employees. Now, before you march into her office and demand some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, you need to understand that the owner’s behavior is consistent with someone who wants to please everyone. In her effort to please her employees, she is unwittingly minimizing your authority.

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How do I establish with her what my role as manager is?

While the owner certainly thinks you’re qualified, she has likely been continually undercutting you since the day you were promoted – and all of this undermining was occurring without her knowledge. She possibly has no idea what she’s doing, and that’s why we think it might be time to have a very serious, though friendly, meeting with her.

We suggest you seek the guidance of others before acting, though our advice is to sit down with the owner at an offsite location (to minimize distractions) and to ask her a few pointed questions. In a concerned, friendly tone, you may want to ask her:

  • Do you value me as a leader?
  • Do you believe I possess the necessary skills to manage the team?
  • Do you think I am capable of growing the business?
  • What are your expectations of my roles and responsibilities?
  • What are your goals for the business and how do you see my role in that?

Based on her answers to these questions, you should know where you stand. If the meeting is going well, you may want to finish with a simple statement about how much you love working for her, how much you respect her, but how you sometimes believe her leadership style is diminishing your effectiveness as a manager. Explain to her that in order for there to be rules, there must be consequences. Without consequences, or her backing, you will not have the respect of the employees.

Not surprisingly, once the owner begins to respect your leadership, so will the employees. Unfortunately, this reverse is also true (as you discover every day). On the bright side, if your boss chooses to keep the status quo, you can mimic her style and become “too nice” in an effort to win over your charges. Because it’s always easier to change your style from “strict” to “relaxed” than the other way around, you stand a good chance of still becoming a semi-effective leader even without your boss’ respect.

Leadership Lessons from Barack Obama

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What Business Leaders Can Learn from Obama’s Bad Week

Wow, what a week for the Leader of the Free World. Just as his something-for-nothing-health-care-plan was starting to lose steam on Capitol Hill, one of his friends breaks into his own home, gets lippy with a cop and gets arrested.

In his typical “you never want to let a serious crisis go to waste” fashion, Barack Obama took a page from previous US Presidents and tried to deflect criticism of his health plan with some presidential sleight of hand. Claiming a decorated police officer acted stupidly in arresting his pal Henry Louis Gates, Obama just might have uttered the dumbest thing he’s said since taking office. Thankfully, he’s provided us with a couple of truly basic lessons for business leaders in the process.

Leaders Make Sure Their Feet Are Clear of Their Mouths Before Speaking

“I don’t know all the facts.” Barack Obama stated as he began to weigh-in on Gatesgate during his nationally televised health care press conference on Wednesday.




Leaders know that this is where they should stop commenting. Leaders understand that it’s important to get all the facts before speaking – especially on topics that could be inflammatory.

“… the Cambridge Police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home,” Obama continued later in his misinformed opinion “… there is a long history in this country of African Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately. That’s just a fact.”

Clearly, Obama has never seen an episode of Cops, where nearly everyone is arrested in their own homes. The most misguided takeaway of President Obama’s declaration on Gatesgate is that he equated this incident with the stereotypical racist white cop, and even tried to make what happened in Cambridge a microcosm of race relations in America.

You Move Too Quickly

If you’re wondering what that stuff is dripping off the President’s mug, it’s egg. It seems Obama not only spoke without knowing the facts – as the facts came out it became increasingly clear that we had a belligerent old man who was disrespectful of the very police who were called to his home to investigate a possible burglary – he basically called one of the most colorblind policemen in Massachusetts a racist. Boy, I bet he wishes he’d known that before he opened his mouth.

Cambridge Police Sergeant James Crowley, as you may already know, not only teaches academy plebes on how to avoid racial profiling, but he just happens to be the brave officer who performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on Reggie Lewis in 1993. Lewis, you see, was black; and Crowley didn’t care as he tried to save the young man’s life.

The President should be calling for other police departments to hire more men like Crowley instead of continuing to second-guess the officer’s actions. Leaders, at this point, would know enough to apologize and explain they spoke too quickly. Even as recently as today, Obama has continued to lay much of the blame at Crowley’s feet. The American People – just as your subordinates would if you were lying to them – aren’t buying it.

What’s The Rush?

The real leadership lesson we expected to learn this week centered on the Obama Health Care Reform Plan. We were looking for the reason that the White House and certain members of congress seemed so adamant about passing the measure before the August break. The plan is one of the most costly pieces of legislation ever to be proposed, and would (by all accounts) change the way most of us access doctors and hospitals forever.

So what’s the rush? Leaders know that getting it right is always, always, always better than getting it fast. That’s not to say that leaders believe in ready, aim, aim, aim…. On the contrary, leaders are all about quick action – they just don’t take this action without understanding the pros, cons and consequences.

One thousand, one hundred and eighteen. That’s the number of pages in the Health Care Reform Bill Obama wants passed this month. With all that’s happening in the economy – and with the trillions already pledged to stimulating it – asking congress to okay a bill that would commit trillions more without expecting them to both read and understand it is unconscionable – and not very leader-like.

Measure Twice, Cut Once

Obama and the congressional leadership should take a page from careful carpenters and make certain they understand the ramifications of all aspects of the bill before signing on. (It’s quite possible President Obama hasn’t even read the bill in its entirety.)

Obama, however, wants everyone in America (especially the congress) to look the other way and let his plan go into effect. Why, we ask? What’s the rush? If health care is so important to Barack Obama, shouldn’t we make sure we get it right the first time?

We’re not even talking about debating the merits of the plan the President has laid out – it could very well be perfect for America – we just want to know that if health care is so important to the President, why did it take him six months to name a Surgeon General? (And why does she seem so overweight and under-qualified?)

Therein lies the leadership lesson. Leaders’ actions speak louder than leaders’ words – and true leaders know this. That’s why true leaders would never try to shove something down their charges’ throats. Instead, true leaders provide the facts, gain consensus and mentor as their teams do the right things. We wish Obama would do the same.