(Postmortem is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)
Latin for “after death,” the usage of postmortem is clear and correct when uttered in the morgue (as in postmortem examination; a.k.a. autopsy).
When your manager asks you to give him a postmortem of your recent client meeting, you only wish he was referring to an autopsy.
Of course, he’s simply asking for a report of what happened and where the relationship is headed. Why he doesn’t just ask for a report should be as puzzling as it is annoying.
Our level of annoyance is high with this one because it checks off nearly every box in our imaginary annoying phrases test.
Better replacement with fewer syllables? Check.
Military, police, or medical term hijacked and bastardized in business? Check.
Uttered to make the manager seem hip and cool? Check.
Non-English term your manager couldn’t translate if his life depended on it? Check.
Sports analogy? … Okay, six out of seven – that’s still pretty freaking annoying.
Replacement phrases: Report
See also: Tear Down, The
The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon