(Tee it Up is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)

Tee it Up

If your boss is a scratch golfer (basically someone who spends too much time golfing and not enough time leading), he’ll often ask you to tee it up.

Oh cool, we see what you did there. You used a golfing term as a metaphor instead of simply asking us to prepare or present something. Aren’t you the fancy one?

Workplace golfers – and especially managers and executives who golf – are annoying even if they never spoke a single phrase listed in this book. Think about it. They’re excessively tan year-round; their faces are often dotted with dry, scaly patches; and their calves resemble oversized cantaloupes.

Of course, they’re especially annoying because they cannot shut up about golf.

Every Monday you get a shot-for-shot replay of the 36 holes they played over the weekend.

Every Tuesday you hear about their planned Wednesday outing and a shot-by-shot recap of the last time they played that course.

Thursdays are filled with memories of Wednesday (again, shot-by-freaking-shot).

And while Fridays bring more golf talk, your annoying golfer-boss spares you by leaving early “to hit a bucket” of range balls before his big weekend of golf.

Ugh.

This existence would be bad enough if it stopped there; but, of course, it does not. He (yes, it’s almost always a he in these cases) asks you constantly to tee it up.

Time to start the meeting? Tee it up.

Need to prepare for a client visit? Tee it up.

Got a question? Tee it up.

When he want the TV in the breakroom tuned to the Golf Channel… tee it up.

Golfers are the worst managers.

Replacement phrases: Plan; Prepare; Present

See also: Par for the Course

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The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon