Help! My Boss is a Jerk!
Q. Every time my coworkers or I ask my manager a question, he snaps at us and tries to make us feel stupid for not already knowing the answer. What should we do? Lisa in Raleigh, NC
Well, as my teachers always said: there are no stupid questions. Of course, it sounds like there are some stupid managers out there.
Your Boss is a Jerk
It’s painful enough to work with a jerk, but when the jerk is also your boss, your life can become a living hell. Jerks with power are the worst kinds of jerks.
There are various reasons that a given team even requires supervision at all. Often, there is a need for accountability, leadership and/or training. Even if your manager’s sole responsibility is accountability – that is, he is there to just keep the rest of you in line – there is still no excuse for his lack of maturity.
The most important duty of a manager is to develop his or her team to excel for the company; and when the manager himself impedes this development, the employees often have nowhere to turn.
Who knows why your supervisor is failing at his most important job function; the fact is, his actions are hurting morale and, ultimately, the company’s performance.
I Love Questions
I love when subordinates ask me questions. I look at all questions as invitations to develop the person doing the asking. Because the employee asked for the assistance, they are more open to the answers – the employee development becomes a mutually beneficial occurrence. Conversely, whenever I unilaterally work to develop someone, I am at the mercy of the receiver who may or may not be open to receiving my terrific guidance and tremendous wisdom.
Okay, enough about me…
What should you and your coworkers do? I can only speak from my experience here, but if I ran this company I would want to know about this jerk and how he is treating others. While I’ve never given credence to any mutiny, I actually recommend you and your coworkers move up the organizational chart to your boss’ boss and explain the situation.
Strength In Numbers
There is strength in numbers, and the entire team should deliver this message as a group. Be careful not give ultimatums (e.g., “it’s either him or us”), just try to explain the situation (without emotion or opinions) and let the company know how this is effecting your work.
Be prepared for your boss’ boss to go into leadership development mode and retain the jerk for the near-term. If your company cares about people, they will investigate the situation and then provide some management training for your boss – giving him a chance to redeem himself.
As crappy as this sounds for you and your team, you really wouldn’t want to work for a company that didn’t provide second chances in cases like these. (Who knows, you might be the manager someday and you wouldn’t want a few disgruntled employees to get you fired without due process.)
We All Have Choices
While most companies would make an adjustment in this situation, there is the chance that nothing changes. If this happens, you are left with four choices:
- You can look for another position within your company;
- You can look for something at another company;
- You can give the “it’s him or us” ultimatum (and be prepared to possibly be fired); or
- You can live with it.
For me, choice number 4 is not a choice. The satisfaction I receive from my work is too important to me to let someone drain me of it. Life’s too short to work for a jerk – that leaves you with choices 1, 2, or 3. Of course, these depend on the opportunities available to you, and your stomach for confrontation and change.
I’m hopeful your company will make a change – as I wrote, most companies would – but whatever happens, please keep us posted.
Helmy Firdiansyah
September 23, 2011 @ 11:14 AM
well… up to this point I start thinking to leave my current job to seek a new one. my manager looks like she have no adequate leadership and how to manage things for good in the first place.
Since I joining this company two years ago, I got only little training for my job. on the first 1.5 months of my career there, my senior quit from her job and leave me alone with only little understanding of “know how” to run the stuffs. I can say I’m struggling so hard ever since, to gain the knowledge I need to manage my job. at that time I must handle a lot of new things that even never cross in my mind before. the situation even getting worst, my manager (at that time she is a section head) refuse to help me by leaving me with no solution every time I ask how to solve the problems that beyond my reach. every question I have been asked ended up with “why you ask stupid questions to me?” or “you can start dig your retired senior computer to find the solution”. the second useless solution here lead me to thousands of unidentified data at that time, i nearly cant understand how to read or to find the data I need. just like seeking something that you even don’t have any idea what its like in a large crowded field.
with hard work I manage to finds the solution by my self. but my maturity is not fully developed, and its absolutely takes more time to develop your self with very minimum guide provided by your superior. not mentioning how hard the process to reach every single goal.
I know I have great chance to enhance my skills if only she want to cooperate better.
my question is:
1. How to deal with this type of boss?
2. Talking to her will be means suicide, any other idea?
Thanks in advance for your advice!
49 Of the Worst Bosses Ever and Some Advice in Dealing with Them | PaydayLoans.org
June 22, 2010 @ 5:44 PM
[…] Help! My Boss Is A Jerk!: A woman asks advice on how to deal with her boss who just happens to be a jerk and snaps off on everyone. […]
N Edwards
May 12, 2010 @ 2:22 PM
Hi,
At present I feel like im working with the worse manager breathing, I have worked at my employment for nearley 2 years now and all ive had is toss pot managers, first manager didnt pay me for 3 months and at the time my husband had just left me with 2 kids and a mortgage to pay so was quite important to have cash coming in, I asked and askedmy manager to chase it for me but he did nothing so I seeks assistance from my line manager, which sorted that situation but left me with everyone thinking I was a stitch.
Then number 2 boss was constantely trying to get into my pants which was very uncomfy when i was at work, He ended up getting sacked due to theft aswel, I did not report that sitaction but my male friend did I still felt it was in my head, even tho it was caught on camera what he was doing but that vanished.
Present boss is just a muppet in January this year he gave me 4 extra hours a week as a thanks for running the shop so well, but then a female collegue found out about my extra hours and made my life hell I told my manager what she was doing and he did nothing just let it ride, Within a week she had then been given 35 hours I tried being an adult about it and just kept my mouth shut,
but then in March my Nanna had a bad fall went to hopital and later died on April 1st this year I had to ask my family to arrange her funeral around work as manger was being a pratt, I have been very emotional at work since the Nanna illness but then also found a lump on my breast I di nottell my family as they had a lot to deal with due to my nanna, Luckily was given all clear but I did tell my manager about it and he looked at my like I was lying, Then 2 weeks later I got tonsilitus and had to have a few days of work then a week later I got chest infection on monday this week I was at work and could not breath my manager saw me struggling but did not help me at all, this is first time anything like this as happened saw was scared, Monday night I woke up not being able to breath and got rushed to hospital via ambulance, I asked my daughter to text my manager to let him know what was going on, but she text my assistant manager by accident instead, manager rung me up at 9:00 yesterday giving me a telling off I could not speak to him due to my breathing problems.
So I really need advice I know im good at my job but I keep making mistakes but think thats due to me being ill.
Please help
John
November 2, 2009 @ 1:25 AM
what do you do when your boss then blocks your attempts to transfer? It’s bad enough the way he treats you, but then he blocks your transfer, when you’ve already been told by the new manager you can work in his group?