The Top Ten Things All Business Travelers Mumble Under Their Breath


If you travel regularly for business, you know sometimes your travel days are unmemorable; just smooth, uneventful, even mature interactions with fellow caring professionals. Of course, if you are an airport regular, you know those unmemorable travel days are few and far between.

Generally speaking, for every one mature interaction with another caring professional; the average business traveler enjoys scores of mind-numbing insanity with the most careless, carefree and inconsiderate dregs ever born to human parents.

In these instances, the best biz travelers can often hold their tongues. Yet even the calmest road warriors have been known to mumble a few expletives under his or her breath to help release the tension building just beneath the surface. In no particular order, here are the Top Ten Things All Business Travelers Mumble Under Their Breath:

  1. “This is going to shock you, but you’re not the only person trying to make a connection.”
  2. “Service animal my ass.”
  3. “It’s downright amazing that your 10-pound belt buckle set off the alarm there, Tex.”
  4. “A kid in First Class? You cannot be serious. I missed my upgrade because of a kid?”
  5. “Apparently, today is wear whatever you want to the airport day.”
  6. “I think I would appreciate your son’s Disney luggage more if it wasn’t blocking my deliberate path to the next gate.”
  7. “If you need extra time to load the plane, then you’d better be the last one off this thing when we land.”
  8. “Seriously. Is this your first flight since 9/11?”
  9. “You do understand the instructions ‘Stand Right / Walk Left’ don’t you?”
  10. “Yes, princess, your effing shoes come off.”