(Ping is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)

Ping

Quick quiz: In your office, ping is: (A) The brand of golf clubs your boss uses; (B) The sound you hear when the elevator reaches your floor; (C) One half of the name of the  paddle-and-ball game in the breakroom; (D) None of the above.

If you answered (D), you’re correct.

Since the dawn of email – and especially once texting became ubiquitous – ping has become one of the most annoying monosyllabic words you’ll hear in the workplace.

No longer satisfied to merely contact someone, we must now ping them. Where we once asked someone to call us, we now request they ping us.

Ping, you may not know, has some correct usage when it comes to technology. For example, computers and/or servers on the same network will ping each other (and get a return signal) to ensure they are in working order (and/or to test the speed of the network).

That’s where the correct business usage ends, and the annoyance begins.

When you’re asked to ping someone, you’re not expected to check their vitals (are they alive?) or test how fast they respond. You’re expected, merely, to contact them.

We latched onto ping (yes, we’ve caught ourselves saying it way too often) because, simply put, we once thought it sounded hip, and we’re lazy. Just because we say it, doesn’t make it any less annoying when others do.

Steve’s problem is that he knows it’s annoying and he hates himself the second it leaves his lips – he just can’t stop himself. Of course, the first step toward solving any issue is admitting you have a problem; so, here goes.

“My name is Steve…”

“Hi Steve!”

“… and, I’m a pingaholic.”

(If you found that exchange insensitive to people with real problems, ping Steve and he’ll try to produce a better ending for this one in future editions.)

Replacement phrases: Contact; Call; Email; Text

See also: Connect With

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The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon