(Baby is Ugly is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)

Baby is Ugly

For some reason, annoying managers (and especially annoying consultants) feel the need to explain their (self-perceived) unique level of honesty in a way that’s insulting to ugly babies worldwide.

They’ll proclaim to everyone who will listen that they’re not afraid to tell a client their baby is ugly.

Bravo. Brav-freakin-oh! (To be clear, we know “annoying consultants” is redundant – we wrote it that way for effect.)

When someone boasts they’re willing to tell a client when their baby is ugly, please just punch them right in the mouth. No babies are ugly. Except, of course, the ugly ones. Therefore, no one – especially a parent – wants to hear about an ugly baby.

Life, you might find surprising, is not like an episode of Seinfeld – you’re almost never involved in a conversation about ugly babies. Given this, can we just stop creating false bravado and drop this annoying phrase from the business lexicon?

Replacement phrases: Tell the truth; Be honest

See also: Warts and All

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The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon.