(Land the Plane is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)
Land the Plane
Though heard infrequently (thank goodness), self-important managers and executives will sometimes ask their charges to land the plane.
They say this because, well, they’re super cool of course.
What they’re requesting is not for you to pilot a 747 to safety; they’re asking you to complete something – perhaps even take over a task, project, or job someone else failed to successfully complete.
They’ll say, “Jane, I need you to land the plane on this one.”
You’ll cringe and throw up a little in your mouth. It’s human nature. As much as you’d like to keep from showing your contempt for your boss’s pomposity, you can’t help it. He’s just that damn annoying.
Instead of losing your gig because of an idiom-loving schmuck like this guy, try working in a secret ‘eff you’ when assigned tasks in this manner.
Steve’s favorite is a quick two-finger salute. This is where you put your index and middle fingers together, put them to your head and immediately fire off a quick salute. To be a true ‘eff you,’ you’ll need the salute to travel quickly upward and outward in at least a 45-degree angle.
Don’t know what the heck we mean? Practice a few times in the mirror until only you see the contempt. If you feel the need to show more disgust, feel free to add in a “Roger that,” with every salute.
You’ll feel much better. We write this from experience.
Replacement phrases: Finish; Complete; Take over
See also: Over the Line
The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon