(Putting Out Fires is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)

Putting Out Fires

For those annoying, self-important managers who envision their name should always be followed by a “hashtag hero” (#hero), it may come as a shock that we all know they’ve never actually put out so much as a trash can fire.

In fact, there’s a good chance they’ve never even had to remove a smoldering bag of popcorn from the microwave in the office breakroom. Despite this, these folks cannot seem to stop telling you how they’ve been putting out fires all day; all week; all month.

Ugh.

Unless you’re a member of the Pittsfield (Massachusetts) Fire Department Local 2647, what you do in your business has nothing to do with putting out fires, and everything to do with wiping noses and asses.

Yes, we said it.

Instead of telling everyone you’ve been putting out fires all week, how about you tell them something closer to the truth? How about you explain how you’ve been wiping noses and asses all week?

Not such a hashtag hero now, are you fella?

Replacement phrases: Handling issues; Wiping asses

See also: Herding Cats

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The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon