(Space is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)

Space

At every company there’s at least one annoying manager who’s co-opted the perfectly harmless word space and morphed it into ear-bleeding terms like “ecommerce space,” “IT space,” “wholesale space,” or “sales space” – just to name a few.

Are these pests referencing an entire industry or just a function within an industry? Are they speaking about a market, a department, or a specialty? Who knows?

Our guess is not even that annoying guy referring to everything as some sort of space knows.

Do you have one of these space guys in your office and wonder how he was created? It’s simple, really. He heard space misused in this manner a couple of times; he liked how using space this way made the speaker sound savvy; then suddenly everything he referenced began to fit neatly into some space.

We fear this misuse of space will never go away, so we are proposing we make it ubiquitous. That is, the rest of us should start referring to everything in this manner.

Work in a pet store? Ask a coworker what they think the future is for the kitten space.

Manage a 7-11? Brag about your prowess in the candy bar space.

Sitting in a bar? Ask the bartender what first attracted him to the alcohol space.

At the gym? Inquire at the front desk how the staff feels about the sweaty towel space.

Absurd? Yes. Fun? Yes.

Will it stop the annoying guy in your office from referring to everything as a space? Unfortunately, there appears to be no hope of that.

Replacement phrases: No replacement needed if you’re referring to a function (like sales). Otherwise, Industry or Market.

See also: Of the World, The (Blanks)

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The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon