(Bio Break is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)

Bio Break

The term bio break is annoying on many levels; although not the least of which is the snarkiness by which it’s usually delivered.

Interestingly, even more annoying is this: While bio break is meant to be a clever way to say “potty break” without making people think of actual poop and pee, adding the word “bio” makes us (and others) think of biohazard. Consequently, this unfortunately conjures up images of a massive poop accident – a shitstorm, if you will; something only men in yellow, hermetically-sealed suits can contain.

Certainly, the use of this annoying phrase began as a clever way to discuss the need for attendees at a meeting or conference to use the restroom for something other than resting.

My goodness, are we expected to actually say the words “bathroom break” in today’s day and age?

How gauche.

Just the thought of having to express to a crowd of people that we understand they are humans; that humans eat and drink; that because of this behavior, they occasionally must poop and pee is distasteful.

Moreover, since we don’t want the attendees pooping and peeing all over themselves, we need to afford them some sort of brief reprieve from the meeting so they will have the time necessary to poop and pee in a proper place.

But, you see, we can’t bring ourselves to make these acknowledgements. Therefore, we announce in a sardonic, cooler-than-thou tone, “We’ll have a bio break at the top of the hour.”

Gosh, don’t we seem like just the hippest managers ever!

Replacement phrases: Break

See also: Shit Where You Eat

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The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon