(Direct the Traffic is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)
Direct the Traffic
Apparently, your office has become so crowded and hectic your annoying manager needs you to direct the traffic. Without someone completing this important duty, everyone would surely crash into each other. It would create chaos… mass hysteria.
It seems for every project – whether important or not – many annoying bosses will assign someone to direct the traffic. You’ll hear matter-of-factly, “I’ll need you to direct the traffic on this one.”
You’ll twitch, cringe, and perhaps even want to lay on the floor in the fetal position.
Not, of course, because of this one irritating phrase, but because it never stops. It never changes. Your annoying boss cannot help himself or herself.
Your manager belongs to a massive, secret, cult-like organization created to make employees’ ears bleed. This group simply cannot speak without inserting an idiom, metaphor, analogy, or other equally-aggravating phrase – even when (or especially when) the correct term is shorter or even more descriptive.
They cannot be stopped.
Just do your best to direct the traffic, collect your check, go home, cry a little, and drink a lot.
Replacement phrases: Direct; Take charge
See also: Run Interference
The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon