(Face Time is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)

Face Time

Someone wanting to meet with you… strike that. A self-important douche wanting to meet with you face-to-face will often ask for some face time. As in, “We’ve definitely got to get some face time during this conference.”

This douchey manager thinks face time is the hip way the kids say meeting. As with all assumptions made by douches, he’s wrong on this one… way wrong.

Hearing that someone wants face time with you is especially annoying because it’s always delivered by the most insincere people you know. They’re sycophants, so they’re naturally insincere in all their relationships. In fact, their insincerity is so severe, they don’t even hear themselves.

Insincere sycophants (redundant, we know) believe their words and sticky-sweet tone are enough to convince you they’re good people (because they think your IQ is well below theirs). They’re not good people.

They want face time, for crap’s sake. Truly good people don’t want face time; truly good people want to meet; they want to talk; they want to connect with you… strike that. Truly good people just want to catch up.

Replacement phrases: Meeting; Discussion

See also: Connect With

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The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon