(Elephant in the Room is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)

Elephant in the Room

This phrase is annoying in its stupidity. There, we said it.

The elephant in the room refers to that (almost always negative) thing everyone is aware of, but no one wants to address. It’s just there, in plain sight, and on the top of everyone’s mind… but, no one wants to talk about it.

This is stupid because who the heck wouldn’t want to talk about an elephant in the room? Holy crap, that would be amazing… and frightening… and probably cramped.

It’s the first thing we’d mention if we walked into a room with an elephant present. We’d probably shriek like a schoolgirl and say something inappropriate like, “Holy shit, that’s a fucking elephant! How in the fuck did they get that fucking elephant in here?”

If you wanted a more appropriate phrase for business – something everyone was aware of, but no one wanted to address – you should probably change this to “fart in the room.” No one wants to talk about a fart; even if everyone smells it.

Because, as you know, he who smelt it dealt it.

Replacement phrases: Problem; Issue; Fart in the room

See also: 800-Pound Gorilla

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The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon