(Trying to Boil the Ocean is an annoying business term and is just one of the 212 Most Annoying Business Phrases Managers Effuse, Confuse, and Overuse detailed in the hilarious must-have guide for every workplace: The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room. Available right now on Amazon.)

Trying to Boil the Ocean

Have you ever heard anything so stupid in your entire life?

Trying to boil the ocean is akin to trying to put the sun in a paper bag or trying to shrink Kim Kardashian’s butt. It’s not only not possible, it’s just not right.

This begs the question: Why do annoying managers accuse others of trying to boil the ocean?

Because… umm… they’re annoying? Because… they’re likely the douchiest people you work with? Because… they want everything they say to sound insightful and cutting edge?

Because… all of the above?

Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner.

Your annoying, douchey manager wants to sound insightful and cutting edge; therefore, he constantly accuses others of trying to boil the ocean when they’ve done nothing more than suggest an alternative to the status quo.

God forbid we look at options. It’ll be Armageddon if the team considers an alternate route. There will certainly be cats and dogs living together – mass hysteria, in other words – if we consider someone else’s ideas.

Ugh. So annoying; so weak; so passive-aggressive.

Replacement phrases: No replacement necessary; just accept change and challenges to the status quo. It’s called growing.

See also: Herding Cats; Reinvent the Wheel

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The 30,000-Pound Gorilla in the Room is available on Amazon